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Monday, May 28, 2007

Beach Bodies


This weeks issue of Star featured 36 Best (think Jessica Biel, Cameron Diaz) & Worst (ala Kate Hudson, Kirsten Dunst) Beach Bodies made me cringe. I would hate to be a celebrity and have all my 'assets' critiqued. Seriously, I would kill to look like any one of the worst beach bod bikini ladies, Uma Thurman included.

Does summer make you want to quit your job and do lunges 24/7? Me too! Lets just say since having a baby (even though it was seven months ago) I'm not nearly back to me pre-baby weight. Blah, I hope sarongs are back big this season. I'm in need of a quick fixer upper. Together or solo, here's the low down on five flab-fighting products to get you beach body ready for summer.

Bliss, Ray of Hope gives new meaning to tan and tone. The water-resistant broad spectrum sunscreen actually helps you fight the look of fat while lying on the beach! With exclusive sun-activated spheres that release the visual slimming effect of caffeine molecules when you need them most—while baring the better part of your birthday suit in the sun—in a non-greasy spray formula of hydrating antioxidants and aloe. SPF 20. $38. Why didn't they think of this sooner?

A perennial best-seller, Bliss, Fat Girl Slim, $32 is an advanced technology fat fighter that features QuSome encapsulated caffeine molecules. This cream relieves ' thigh-anxiety' and delivers quick and targeted results that firm and tighten any 'perceived problem areas. It's the skin slimming stuff of supermodels.

Whip it good! Bliss, Stimulator, $22 is a rubber, cellulite scrubber that wakes up surface circulation, moving fat-trapping fluids out of thick thighs. Confrontational types can boldly bash blubbery areas in private.

Pure Inventions, Fit & Slender, $36. Spike water with just a dropper full of this ginger- flavored herbal fluid to reduce cravings and 'irrational ravenousness'. Ups metabolism, but for the best bang, pair with a healthy diet and exercise. Ah shucks.

Suffering from cellulite? Scared to sport a skirt, let alone a swimsuit? Don a pair of MBTs for an all-points attack on flab. Now available in a warm weather, sweat-strategic style, these shoes have gained a fanatical following among fitness buffs and cellulite-slaying moms alike. Walk, run and stand around for a better bum. Starting at $235 a pair, they are on the expensive end, but say far less expensive and way less painful that lipo. I'm pondering purchasing a pair myself. Anyone own a pair?

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